NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
