before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
