it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
