I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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