You really coming over, don't trick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My vagina is very pro this idea
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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