in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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