I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
