How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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