My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
