Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
