$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
