I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
