i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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