she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
