i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
