ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
