we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
