My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
