Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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