Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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