It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
