when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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