so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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