I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
