it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
