her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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