I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
