I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
