Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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