I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
