I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
