we have officially lost it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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