I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
