should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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