Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
