dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
