everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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