The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize