Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
