It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
