I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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