She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
