Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
