just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
