Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
