I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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