I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
