I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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