Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
