your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
