well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
