I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
