He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
